Today is indeed the first day of Lent. I've chosen to observe this one rather wholeheartedly. Yet, not because I'm catholic or because I need a good high off some legalistic behavior. No, I really need a Lent. I feel toxic. I feel my body is toxic, my mind is toxic, my emotions and my spirit as well. There is a lot going on in my life. There are many things I don't know what to do with as far as wisdom of how to proceed or endurance of how to handle. Over all, the world is throwing information around and opinions around, and pressures around at a speed I've never known before. I feel it's eating away at me. My distractions and to do lists are endless and there seems no time to reflect anymore or to refocus. Many things I cannot eliminate but I realized that I can related some toxins.
Some of these things both physically and mentally are not bad on a rationed level. I just feel I've drank my full of too many things literally and figuratively (or ate my full). I've take in a lot of crap on all levels and I need a break. I almost feel mentally that I'm so full of thoughts I can't even thing truly anymore.
One of the main things I've found toxic to my system all together lately is facebook. I'm taking a break from it. Not because it sucks my time because it really doesn't. I have the app on my phone and I check it at all ready down times. No, it's because of the addiction to see what is being shared even if I hate it. It's coming back to something that at sometimes is really just overwhelming. It stirs a lot of feeling and thought in my mind and I just feel on overload. It's wanting to change the world or beat the crap out of it from time to time. It's feeling judged and judging. It's also good stuff like loving, praising, sharing ideas and I'll miss that. For some reason though lately facebook has been making me think of the verse in 1 Thess 4 about minding your own business and making it a goal to live a quiet life. Actually the whole chapter is pretty good.
I want to take some time to write through this Lent. That is what I will be taking the next few weeks to do. I want to remember and focus on Christ's sacrifice for me and really get to the bottom of my thinking on few things. I will writing at a private locked blog and will consider whether I open it or not later. I will still come here to share some life stuff but you won't see me on facebook.
I look forward to this time and I feel anxious for the Easter holiday. Not so I can have my toxins back, but so that I can really come to it with a clear head, mind, and body (as much as possible).
