Kid's Chores -New ZONE Plan- AKA LOVE THIS

We are starting a new program with our kids.  The big pocket chart with bucks in it worked really well for a good long time.  Now that they are older I need more help around the house and their own stuff is pretty simple. I've kind of mixed my old plan with a new one and taken on the ZONE wheel!  I'm very excited about it.  I learned about it where I learn all new amazing things, on Pinterest.  The original link is here and you can click on the part about the wheel from there.

I am a real decor lover and one thing I put too much meaning in is everything being pretty.  So the chore charts are usually far from the center of the house where I can't see them.  This may be a result of years of homeschooling when my living room and dining room had maps and alphabet everywhere and I grew tired of the clutter.  I've given back in for the sake of the kids.  I realized that out of sight is out of mind.  This hall is facing them all when they come out of their rooms and the bathroom door is right there so they have to see it.

The ZONE idea simply is that instead of the dreaded fighting or even draining mystery over who's cup is who's when it's time to pick up (you know, the "I don't know, but it's not MINE!" when you say everyone go in the room and clean up your own stuff) each family member is in charge solely of a ZONE.  Each week the zones change so you don't always have to do the same one.  Each zone must be checked am and pm.  I made it even more clear by posting a list for each zone.  Each zone also gets more attention on Saturday's.

Again, I usually have nice print outs but I did not have time yet so I just wrote them and taped it all up. 

The charts are quite simple.  They have one heading that include many things.  We have been doing morning high fives for a while and evening ones too that I never really wrote down.  Each chart is actually exactly the same.  I find that simplicity creates productivity and less stress.  At the bottom they each have an extra item.  For Caedmon here, he earns a buck toward a Skylander (a toy for the Wii game he likes) each day of school that he does not have to turn a card for.  Turning cards indicated some form of a problem in class. For the girls, they each have a cell phone.  Emma's cost $10 a month and her job to pay for it is to vacuum and clean out the van as well as wash it when I say it needs it.  She has this broken down into $2.50 a week.  She gets to choose what night to do it (unless we direct otherwise).  If she fails to do so, she pays us the $2.50 out of her chore pay.
Victoria has a monstrous $40 a month iphone bill.  That breaks down to $1.35 per day.  Since our dishwasher is broken, she has been hired.  Because she has a lot of homework I decide what level of work she will do each night.  If she does not do it, she has to pay us from her chore pay and if she goes into debt we re-possess the phone.  Trust me, she does not want to loos her phone.  It is her social connection and her Walkman.  This is highly motivating.

High Fives of morning and evening count as one bubble.  They are specified on the wall.  Morning ones are: brush teeth, do animal chore, read family passage (we require ten verses read before school), clean floors and tops (furniture tops), and make bed.  

Evening High Fives are: do homework, lay out clothes, pack backpack, brush teeth, clean floors and tops.

We have a set amount for each chart.  Ours is ten dollars.  That sounds like a lot but there is more.  Inspired by some ideas from that link, we are putting them on the 10-20-70 plan.  Tithe ten at church, save 20, and free choice for 70.  However, they will pay for all fun outings, snacks or movies, fun clothes not needed etc.  They also loose one dollar per bubble not filled in.  So, that ten can go fast if they have not done their work.  In fact, they can end up working and getting nothing.  The incentive is to do your work, or feel the pain.  We insist that circles be filled in by bed.  No catching up the next day or later on and saying "oh, I did this though!"  To prevent this pattern, I initial each at the end of the day. 

You will see also, that I have a clipboard hanging up.  This is for logging the 30 min of reading on the chore list.  There is also a screen log.  They get one hour Mon, Tue, Thur and two hours on Wed since it's min day and daddy and I are still at work.  No screens are allowed however until chores and homework is complete.  That includes reading time. 

I am taking on the deep cleaning on Monday's, my day off.  With their homework load getting bigger, I feel that just keeping up is a big enough help for me. Part of their room is putting away their laundry as well. All of our laundry is together so for now I'm doing that.  It can go onto the extra work board if I want help.  

That is another Pinterest idea I loved.  A "work for hire" board.  You can look at my "Kids" board on Pinterest for the photo. You have a board with notes as to what the job is with the money right there tempting them to earn it.  I plan to have a box on mine where they have me initial it before they get the money.  That way I check their work.  I will be having cleaning the doors with a magic eraser on mine very soon.  It's a nice way to get extra help around the house.  I'm not making them divide this money for now. It's a bonus and highly tempting that way.  

So, I'll let you know how it goes.  We are taking the idea on the link to have a family "payday".  Read for more.  It's an interesting post.  

Mission Makeover

Emma and Caedmon have been sharing a room for a year. At the time it made sense. The girls were not getting along and Emma and Caedmon had more in common. Funny thing happened in this last year though. Emma grew up a lot. So, we knew it was time for a change. We knew Victoria would not be excited about sharing a room again and the crazy stressful process of the switch would freak her out. So we decided to arrange for the kids to be gone for Ricks long weekend. We worked non stop to get it done. We had very little to spend so we used as much of what we had as we could. We had purchased some AMAZING beds months ago on Craigslist and were saving them at my mom's. We got such a good deal and it was a clean home that had had two grown girls. So I felt good about taking the mattress sets too.
For shelving, we took apart some very old worn out particle book shelves that Victoria had been using. I wrapped them in a beautiful black and white shelf paper. I made one side smooth and perfect and the other side had seems with more paper securing the rest. We put the brackets on the tip to hold down the paper and work as book ends. We removed the side panel of the old bookshelf, covered it and used it over the window with three brackets. We purchased storage cubbies (on sale this time of year) and I scored some awesome shabby black lamps at Ross. It's hard to see but they have chandelier crystals hanging down and when on, the inside if the lamp has a paisley pattern that shows through.
Long story short we made them walk in with eyes closed and they loved it. Victoria is not to excited about sharing but a pretty room with accessory organizers makes it hard to hate. I knew that's how it would be.
We did not get it perfected yet and Emma's side needs some finishing but here are the pictures. I'm using my phone to post so I cannot guarantee they will be in the right order. The picture frame on the old suitcase is to be a little mirror later on. It stays open and is to be used as a little vanity.
Side note: I'm so very exhausted. I'll
tell about Caed's room later. He got the bigger room but there is a reason. It's also a family/multipurpose room now.

Parenting In A Digital Age

There is a part of me lately that wishes I could take my whole family to a cabin somewhere and live unplugged entirely.  Ironically that leades me to the notion that I'd like to rewatch that PBS series Frontier House where they had families do just that.  The irony is that I want to use my TV to watch it.  I want to watch someone else do what I cannot do.
(Warning: high levels of ramble ahead)

See, we were watching the Piolot episode for Star Trek last night (further irony gaining insight from TV) and though it was a load of old television cheese, it was actually quite good.  The aliens though were talking something about creating mental escapes instead of living in the reality.  To the point where that would be preferred   I think that describes our highly plugged in and wireless society.  It describes me, it describes my children.

I grew up in the country.  I was allowed one movie a week after we finally got a tv and then, WHAT!? ..a VCR when I was ten.  Of course I whined about not getting to watch more than that but the answer was no and somehow I'd amuse myself outside or heaven help me, do chores.  We ourselves have had less TV for our kids available than most. The two times we got cable none of us really could pull ourselves away from it.  Rick could watch History all day, I could watch cooking and decor shows, and Nickelodeon was like a suction cup on our kids faces!  We always felt led to get rid of it.  However, the visual means of escape have changed dramatically even in the last two years.  It started with more of the computer issue than the TV.  Now, however they have iPods and the Wii which gives means to games, and apps like Netflix and Hulu.  It almost makes me wish it was TV where you get one episode of what you like and come back later another day or week for the next one.  NOW, we don't have to wait for anything!  Even us last night purposefully vegging streamed four episodes of Star Trek.  Emma was in her room streaming Dr. Who one after the other, and Victoria was texting her brains out over her phone while checking facebook in between.  She has a new boyfriend and I'm actually thrilled he comes from a huge family that lives in the country and has not internet.  He also has no phone so she cannot be obsessed with "talking" to him.  Quite honestly  it's a great way to limit her exposure to him and I think that's good no matter how great he is.

We've become sucked into big and little boxes!  Don't get me wrong, I love my iPhone.   I love that we finally have a humble flat screen, and I love that we can mack-out on what we want to watch now and then.  With these digital blessings though comes the drug of escape and I struggle to know how to navigate myself let alone my children through it.  I truly believe that it leads to depression.

The reason I think it does this is that it goes against all our bodies were created to do.  They were created to work for one.  Work has for sure been tainted by the fall and has become drudgery for us in many ways.  After the Fall, Adam had to pull weeds and till hard ground.  Yet, before it, he still took care of the garden and we get a much more delightful picture of enjoyable work.  Still, it's purposeful, and it feeds our bodies and brains with stuff we need.  Greater still than this though I believe is the need for expanse.  Wide open places, glorious views and breathtaking wonders of nature be they big or small.  Tolkien must have somehow seen this world coming when he started to highlight the simple charms and fulfilling of the simple Hobbit life.  He defiantly paints a picture of simply working to enjoy the simple things like a good meal and pipe.  His distaste for industry is evident in the stories as well.  We have moved even beyond where he could have seen, from industry to technology.  We gift ourselves while we loose ourselves.  The description of Hobbit life makes me crave for that simplicity.  Perhaps if written now, there would not only be industrial nemesis but a crazy tech bad guy as well. lol.

We also have too much of each other and yet less relationship.  I don't know how we have managed it, but it's true.  We are completely socially overexposed.  For someone like me who loves to relate to people this can be disastrous   It is for me at times.  For really, when would you ever sit in a room full of people, or talk one on one to one person have them just silently stare back at you.  No, you would relate. You would converse and share. Somehow, this world of conversing with the option of responding or not is really not how we are meant to relate to one another.  Not that I'll leave it, and not that it is all bad, it's just another weird side effect of this technological age. It's another love/hate issue.

Yet, what are we to do?  There is so much of our world going in this direction   My kids have little to do in their small neighborhoods where they can't wonder very far.  We've made the world unsafe for children to play and the only option seems to be escaping through electronics.

What I'm getting at I suppose is the realization that I can't have the all or nothing cure I want.  I can't just unplug the world they live in.  So, the only other option is intentional planning to control it.  I don't like that thought, it's much harder.  For us being in a place where they can't roam it's going to mean planning hikes and outings more.  Places where they can see the skyline and be awed by something bigger than themselves that feeds their souls.  Something money can't buy and an app can't accomplish.  Today we are limited by money as to how much of the world our kids can get out and see.  I feel that way at times.  Then I ask myself though if I'm doing enough to get them out and see all that they can where they are.  It takes effort and planning and me pushing myself when I'd rather crash as well.

All I know is they are growing up in a world where they may soon forget the adrenaline of a good mountain top view.  They may forget how it feels to have their lungs full of fresh air.  They may get sucked in and never come out of these technological escapes.  I feel called to remind them what they were really made for. If technology increases we may all forget creation all together.  I want them to remember so they can feel the urge to fight it off in their own lives.  I can't even begin to imagine how lost they all may be in a virtual world someday.

On Sensa, Dinners, School and The Dog

I'm really just lacking time to specifically blog so I'm doing a very random post!  Yeah!

Sensa Update:

Okay, so I'm going to be on this three weeks come this Thursday.  I still am at a 4 (sometimes 5) lb. loss.  I made some bad food and beverage decisions this last week though and have seen it slow down.  The product still works but sometimes better than others.  In a week and a half, I will be changing over to the month two tastants and that is supposed to kick my brain back into gear.  The tastants change each month so that your brain does not get too use to them and they stop working.  I really need to stop having wine at all.  We have an event in August at our winery that I want to go to but besides that, I'm going to abstain the rest of August just to give this a better chance to work.  The fair did not help either.  I also have not been exercising much but will be kicking that into gear here in the next week as well so I'm hoping the Sensa will have more of a chance to push my goal reaching.  Over all, for two and a half weeks, it's still a good number for loss.  Two lbs a week is a healthy number and this is close.

School Starting Soon!!!
Two weeks from today my youngest two start school.  Everyone is finally ready for this (Emma was reading day two of summer break).  I just don't like that they have to ride the bus on the windy road out to their little school in the heat.  It's great to have them out there at this small wonderful school, but the road is long and curvy.  We are really excited about Emma's teacher this year.  We were hoping Caedmon would get the great fourth grade teacher that Emma had but it looks as though he is not.  However, that class would be a 4/5 combo and he was in a combo last year.  I'm glad on that account that he is not again this year.  Also, it would be pushing him a bit.  He really needs to take academics slow till his brain develops a bit more.  He is really needing lots of boyish wiggle time right now.  He is always the largest kid in the class but he is actually one of the youngest.  This teacher he did get is a pretty tough, and it's a guy.  I think that could be good for him but a little shocking as well.  He will be a little more militant and perhaps that is what God knows Caedmon needs.  I decided I would not fret at all about this years teacher placement but would trust God to put him where he needed to be.  It's not what I would have chosen but how often does God follow my plan anyway...:)

Victoria starts High School in three weeks.  This is going to be a really big change for us.  Right now it looks like I will be able to take her in which she is relieved about since the bus leaves our town at 7am and she would be having to get up so crazy early.  This way also, I can take her in, go workout, and go from there to work.  It will motivate me to make sure I do that. So, it's a good deal for both of us. I'm hoping she does not have to ride it home but we don't know yet.

Foodie Update

I was really excited about this post Money Saving Mom put up about a lady who had structured five frozen assembled dinners for the crockpot.  The crockpot is a working mothers friend.  I get so tired when I get home and it's so hard to push myself to get right into the kitchen.  Then, add the triple digit days and I'm really dragging.  So, I told my friend Michelle about it and she had a great idea!  We should get the stuff and get together to assemble packets together.  It worked out really well.  I highly suggest doing this.  We are cooking the Hawaiian Chicken one today in the crockpot.  I'll let you know how it comes out.  This lady did test these though and the comments on the post seem to indicated great applaud.  She is working on coming up with another batch of these.  I personally don't need them to use five nights in a row but to use on days I need the help.  All I have to do today when I get home is put rice in my awesome Pampered Chef rice cooker in the microwave and in 20 min dinner is ready.  Perhaps a salad tossed up as well would go well with it.

I am also in research to discover some different "egg on top" recipes.  More on that once I find some....

The Dog

So, the dog made it through his trail.  He is ours now.  He is really doing well.  However, he is trying to pee in the house every now and then.  We are working with him on it, and I'm so glad I don't have carpet in the main part of the house so we can clean it up well but I'm not happy about it.  He seems to really know now when he has done wrong.  I try to remember he may have been out on his own for a while.  He is great with the whole family but get's a little too excited when kids come over who have dogs at home.  He get's confused and want's to marry them if you get my drift.  We are working on that too.  Oh, and the kids named him Angus.  He really took to the name so I'm fine with it.  I think he is a perfect fit for our family though.

Our New Pet and A Little History

We tried the dog thing once.  It did not turn out well.  We don't know a whole lot about dogs, and we knew less then.  Well...let me back up.
I use to be a cat person.  That was all I was allowed to have growing up.  No pets inside at all.  I did not even know what a Guinea Pig was till the movie "G-Force" came out.  So, my pet experience was highly limited.  As most children do who are kept from all kinds of animals they want, I am really fine with my kids trying out pets.  We also started with cats and have had quite a few through the years.  Our first two we got when Victoria was only two.  Mopsy and Tibs were their names.  We had not yet taken them in for shots and one of them got a hold of a bad rodent and began foaming at the mouth.  We did not want to take chances with rabies and because they both ate the rodent (we lived in the country) my dad had to help Rick put them down the old fashion way.  It was very hard for us and especially for Rick but we learned that you can't wait on those sorts of things.  Since it was hard, and we lived in no pet places for a while, we did not have a pet again till Victoria was about six.
The gal who lived next to us knew we were wanting a kitten and her friend had a littler.  Victoria got to go with her and pick one out.  We were told it was a girl and "she" was grey and white.  With the colors and the fact that Victoria was in her princess stage, she named "her" Cinderella.  Upon the first vet visit, it was revealed that "she" was in fact a he and in honor of the good ole Jerry Lewis rendition of the story, he became Cinderfella or Cinder for short.  That cat was awful.  He was moody and would sit on the back of the couch to swipe an open claw at the kids when they passed by.  He got Emma for no reason really bad once when she was sitting on the couch and he went running over her little chest as she sat there in nothing but a diaper and gave her a nasty scar on her left side.  Mommy could have shot him herself.  He got kicked outside because of his mean ways.  One day he did not come back.  I did not feel too bad.
Next we tried a cat that was too feral, her name was Dandy.  She ran away very quickly.  I don't think she ever was meant to be a pet.
Then started our long period of rescuing stray kittens in our modular park.  We had a few years when there were lots of kittens born in town.  Eventually we had six cats outside.  Yikes.  Long story short, the males eventually wonder off too far and for some reason don't come home.  This is normal if you have outdoor cats.  The girls (two of them) stayed close and one just passed away two months ago after being hit by a car in our park.  The other, is still outside but she does no mousing, and is a bit ditsy on many levels.  We still care for her but she can't come in with us because she has never wanted to clean herself.  I just won't do that.  Ewwwww.
Somewhere in there we got a puppy.  She was so cute.  The people we got her from said she would be perfect for our kids and family life.  They knew we lived in a modular park.  I don't know what they were thinking except that they had a whole litter to find homes for.  She was a border collie, beagle, and lab mix.  Loveable as could be but chewed on everything (including the house on the outside), dug huge holes and ruined our yard, herded children that came over by nipping them in the heals, and barked NON-STOP till our neighbors could take no more. We had no idea about dogs remember?  Yeah, border collies need land and are not good house dogs.  She had to find a new home.
Then, as many of you know we then decided to explore the rodent pet life.  That was fun, it really was.  It's just hard to maintain. Rats are smart and make great pets but they can't be allowed to roam (well, we don't let them roam, some do) and they smell up the cage in a few days.  In many ways, I think they were harder to maintain than more interactive animals.  The guinea pigs were so cute, and fun to watch, but they too needed weekly cage changing and unfortunately never really warm up to you.  They will let you hold them but they don't interact much.
So, we found new homes for all but two guineas who are outside in a cage now, the ditsy cat outside, and Caedmon's Gecko Lizard who I almost forget about except when we have to buy crickets.  He is the easiest pet ever.  Caedmon takes him out and holds him but he is in his tank most of the time.
Emma started talking about wanting a kitten again but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I did not want to do that.  Cats are easy to maintain in the house on the potty level but they leave so much hair, their litter smells bad, and they scratch the furniture.  They also are only interactive if they want to be.  Beyond that, they are the boss, not you.  We sat and talked as a family that if we get a pet it needs to be one that is the highest reward for our work and money, and one that we can all be part of and share the load of.  We needed one that would fit our living space.  Our yard is small, our budget is small, and our home is fairly small.  Too small and he runs through the fence, too big and he eats too much and barks too much.  I did not want a bad shedding dog, or a hyper one.  Not one too young as I don't have the patience to train and did not want to see all I owned be destroyed, and not too old to where we were paying for surgeries or meds.
Okay, so my story is getting to long......

We told the kids that when we got back from our vacation (since there was no since getting a dog when we were leaving for two weeks), we would start looking.  We got home, and my best friend had her lovley baby over the weekend.  I had her kids with me yesterday so I thought a trip to the Animal Rescue and Humane Society would be a fun outing.  I did not expect to find anything.  Then, in the second row, staring up at me was exactly the type of dog I was hoping to find.  

 He is a 7 year old shiu tzu shnauzer mix. I think they just call that a pug mix.  We went out to the yard with him with the five kids and he had a ball playing with them all.  He was so loving and spunky without seeming nervous.  We took him home for a two week trial.

 We gave him a bath till he was shiny!

 He loves every single family memeber, even daddy in his mailman uniform.  That was a test right there!

 He loves being up on the couch (which we are fine with and wanted one small enough to snuggle) with the family.

By the end of the evening, he was comfortable enough to conk out while we watched MasterChef.  We love him so far!  He also slept all night in his kennel with only a few whines at first.  Kennel training can be hard on it's own, so I was encouraged to see this.  

Now, he just needs a name.  So, that is of course the hot topic at our house right now.  Ideas welcome. 

Why We Don't Homeschool

We've had this topic come up with some new people we have been meeting lately and I realized it would be good to post about.  Those who have known me for a while all ready know a lot of these details but I think it may be new to others.  There is a very long story of how God called us to put our kids in public school, I won't be telling that story again (I hear some of you saying "whew!").  It was a great story in our journey but it is long.   The purpose here is to tell some very practical reasons that honestly I could not even see at the time of His guiding us.  He could though!

I do want to preface this by saying two main things:  One, is that I highly support homeschooling.  It has it's positives and it's negatives, as does public school, but on the whole it is a wonderful option for many.  I want to be supportive of my homeschooling friends by acknowledging all they do and doing what I can to encourage them if I'm given the opportunity.  Secondly, I do believe that homeschooling is pushed as the "godly" way to proceed with Christian families and public school is characterized as selfish for the parents and damaging for the children.  This is somewhat of an unspoken conversation because I think if many came out and said, "It's more godly to homeschool", they would be shocked at themselves.  God is not in a box, he is using all of his people everywhere in many ways.   He will over expose and underexpose children for the armor they will need in the path He has for them.  I don't think some women, or even some Christian couples give themselves the freedom to realize this is an option for them anymore.  I know I didn't.  Public school was a bad word and an evil monster to me before. 

Here are the main reasons we don't homeschool, and I've put them in order of importance: 

• God called us - Even though I won't get into the details, it is very true.  He called us into it vividly when our eldest was in kindergarten, and he called us out of it vividly at the end of her 4th grade year.  Does God do that?  Well, all I can say is what I know and that is that He did for us. To keep homeschooling would have been us not following His lead.
• I secretly thought it made me more righteous-  That makes me cringe to even write, but I did.  I may be one of the few women in the Christian community who struggled with that, or dare admit it, but it did.  I thought I looked better in eyes of God by homeschooling.  Furthermore, I thought He was obligated to give me a good return on my sacrifices and the end result had to be good Christian kids. 
• My marriage was being put second-  This is not biblical.  I was so exhausted from all the work of the house, the schooling, the socializing efforts etc, I had very little energy or time for my husband.  Not every one has this issue, but I sure did and I was putting the kids over my husband.  I would spend time after they all got to bed, getting ready for the next day's schooling and had no time for him.  I found it interesting at our recent marriage retreat, the speaker said that his biggest group of threatened marriages came from families who homeschooled and now had an empty nest.  That was where I was headed.  Thank you LORD for seeing that!  This does not mean that it will be that way for all couples, but it is a red flag I was ignoring.
• Our children needed outside prodding-  God knew this and we did not at the time.  We had no idea how much our kids would blossom once we put them in school.  I'd like to break down now into each child and tell how it was His best for them: 

1. Our Eldest- She was an easy child to school, the academic.  However, she had developed this sense that the world revolved around her and had no social or authoritative pressures to show her some reality on how this was so not true.  For her, the atmosphere at home fed this problem.  She was not getting challenged by the opinions of others, so hers was supreme.  She was not getting challenged by having to change and adapt to a team, and her agenda reigned.  It's not that I was giving into her at every turn, it was that she was at home so of course the schedule catered to her.  Her brother and sister did whatever she said so of course she had the last word....are you getting the idea?  She was the perfectionist who had to also learn that in reality, you won't be able to complete everything perfectly.  You do the best with the time you have.  Socially, she had to learn that not everyone was going to do or play what she wanted.  
2. Our Middle- Oh, God had big things in mind for her.  She hated school at home with me.  She was in the shadow of a sister who was reading "The Chronicles of Narnia" in kindergarten and had convinced her self she was therefore stupid.  She was bored with worksheets and I had little time for travel or the kind of hands on, mess making learning she loved.  I had her older sister's lessons to do, and her little preschool brother to keep up with.  She was just a home school to do list and she knew it.  Once she entered school, she was amazed at how smart she was because she was in a room with kids her own age!  She loved having a teacher and meeting the challenges of leading in the classroom. She loved that the schedule was all for her the whole school day.  She did not have to go be busy till I could tend to her schooling.  She thrives on group feed back and had no opportunity for this at home.  It was amazing how she blossomed.   
3. Our Third-  The only boy, he has never officially been home-schooled.  He struggles so  much with  structure of any kind and since the only one he knows is school, he dreams of homeschooling.  He has some fantasy idea that it means you get to play Lego's all day.  He needed to be out of the house of girls, and motivated more to get moving.  He is very much the timid boy in some respects.  He is not a wimp, but fits the baby of the family role well.  We are always having to challenge him to stop wining and get going.  School does that for him.  It also gives him time with other boys to be out from the "skirts" at home.  It holds him accountable to a standard of behavior where you cannot wiggle all day if you want to.  He is however, perhaps the one child who I've struggled with the most having in school.  Boys don't do well with that structure.  There have been times when we have prayed about him coming home but God has always encouraged us that this is good for him to learn.  He may get by on the skin of his teeth, and not bringing home all the perfect student awards his sisters are, but he is learning some great skills of hanging in there and being attentive. 

• I needed to grow in my faith-   Faith in God, not myself.   I was holding on too tightly to my own formulas working for me and trying to work out something that the Lord did not have for me.  I was more determined to make good children if it killed me, than I was to trust the God who gave them to me.  Somewhere along the line from being called to homeschool, and struggling with it, I developed wrong motives to keep going.  I honestly did not give myself the option of not doing it anymore, I felt it was just sinful.  I'm very thankful God showed me I was wrong.  He had to show me my heart before I realized this though.  He had to show me my heart motives for having them home and they were not good.  I wanted trained monkeys who would make me proud, he wanted kingdom workers prepared for what He wanted of them.  When it came down to it, all my reasons to keep them home were fear driven. 
• We were not a team-  Helping me in any way, either with planning or follow through, has never been my husbands gift.  I really think that the best homeschool families are the ones who's couples are on the same page and work together in some fashion.  Quite honestly, I think my husband would have been better at homeschooling the children than me.  He is the academic, but he has to have a job so that was not an option. Doing anything regarding homeschooling on top of work was never something that happened for us.  
• We didn't have the ideal setting-  Now, I realize you can homeschool, anywhere and succeed if you are called to but for us, our situation was not ideal.  We live in a small modular park with a small yard not allowing much room for play.  We are not somewhere where we can let our children roam safely either.  We also live 15-30 minutes from most of the homeschool activities or social gatherings.  It became way to hard to get them out enough, even outside.  I did not want to have kids who were locked in with tv screens and dying of boredom just to have them homeschooled.  
• I was becoming a bad mom-  At the end of the school day I did not want to talk to my kids.  I felt like I was showing them the hand the rest of the day.  I was spent!  I could not just be mom and chat, or be all cute and bake cookies.  Getting through the work was all I could do.  I spent many afternoons hiding in my room telling them to stay busy.  I realized that this one big hat was making me hate being a mom.  It broke my heart when I realized that I was robing them of a mom being so determined to be their teacher.  

So, I share all this to say that we all have to be open to what God has for us, as well as what he has for each child.  I have not closed the door, I have learned not to close doors anymore.  Right now these are the reasons we DON'T homeschool.  God could give us other ones any moment for going back into it for one of our kids.  He could do anything.  He should be heard, and I should not be afraid.  I have no idea what God is preparing my kids for through school.  I do know for me it's quite simple now (though it use to not be) that this is not for us right now.  

Whatever we do, I remember what a wise woman told me, we are still and always will be our children s teachers.  We are their disciple-rs.  Whether they sit in a desk at a school, or the table in our dining room, we are teaching them.  The bible says women are to be in the home teaching their children.  "Teacher's at home" it says in Titus.  This is a priority, but no where does it say what exactly we are to teach them as far as academics go.  It does say for us to teach them God's ways, his workings in history and our own lives.  What he has each of us teach beyond that may vary.  I just want to encourage others to listen to Him and follow His leading.  

More than anything, if you are struggling, or hurting, or feeling like you are a looser in this area.  Tell God that, and don't try to be what men tell you you should be, even Christian men.  Talk to your husband, get council and above all BE HONEST with yourself and God.  Being open to His will may not look like you thought it would look.  It may mean that you carry on in a different way, or with different motives.  It may mean that you choose other options. 

I read something back then that amazed me.  It amazed me how narrow my thinking and view of God had become it was this: 

 We want God to stay in schools, but we want all Christian kids out.

I wonder what He wants.....  

It's just something to think about......

Emma's Open House Fare

Just plain loved this.  It was up at Emma's open house.

Here is a zoom in.  Gotta love when you kids bless you with something like that.

Love that it's all in time taking rainbow.  So like her.....:) 

Curses Don't Just Come In Four Letters

I heard in a sermon once that if a Christian uses four letter words, they are not saved.  I disagree.  I think we really put too much stock in our cultural emotional reaction to words.  On the other hand, I also think some believers are way too relaxed in this area as well.

I enjoyed what Randy Alcorn had to say on it today from a link on his Facebook, and there were a lot of great verses he had there.  It was funny to me though, as I read through what he was getting ready to refer to, another man's post on profanity, and I was starting to feel all bad for some things I've liked that have language in them.  OH, or worse, when I actually find the language fits and is funny!!! (Oh, SOO unholy of me!)   THEN the guy says he was referring to the movie "The Hangover" and how friends had said how great it was, blah, blah, blah...
WELL!
If we are using that movie as a baseline...um yeah, I feel better.  I hated the movie.  I laughed rarely and found it a huge waste of my time and sense of humor.  I agree with Randy though, you cannot take people's word on movies for the most part.  At least not if you are going to sit down with your kids and let them watch it with you for the first view.  I also wondered to myself why the title of the movie was not a clue in and of itself to this guy as he says he was researching whether it was a good family movie...um...ha,ha..hello!?  HANGOVER might be a clue!
 I had a friend over to bring her son to Caedmon's birthday party the other day and I asked if he was allowed to watch the original "Men In Black".  My kids love those movies.  She said she did not think so because the movie had some language.  I responded that for us, it was a common conversation issue since they hear it at school anyway (her kids are home schooled, and heavens, I say that only for context people).  She kind of gave me a funny look, not a bad one, just a funny one.  First of all, I want to say that our policy, and our teaching to our kids, is that we respect other people's convictions for their children and we don't play or watch music or movies that they are uncomfortable with.  No matter what we think of their decisions.  We don't seek to offend people, and THAT really is my guide line on this issue.  Still, the reason I said that to her was because I don't believe keeping their virgin ears is as important as discussing the heart of the matter.

In our home, we don't want to curse eachother.  There are many ways to curse eachother.  The bible tells us not to speak curses against one another.  So, it's not really the word choices but the heart attitude.  My child can say all manner of accepted language and be cursing me or his or her sibling, or their teacher at school etc.  So here are my main points:

• It's not the word, it's the sinful heart-  We are too easily shocked by some words and not by others.  We need to NOT SPEAK CURSES, in any form.  We should be more shocked by heart attitudes than we are.
• Profane language oozes pride and malice-  In my mind, no language should be wasted.  So many times, I have heard people using language every other word that means NOTHING.  It's goal is to give the one hearing a sense of greatness, or intimidation from the one speaking.  What you are basically saying is a lot of exaggerated adjectives about your self or what is happening to you.  Basically, over usage of profane language is just a DRAMA QUEEN under cover.   
• It has it's place-  WHAT?   Did I really say that????  Yes, I did.  There are times when I truly believe that certain culturally unacceptable words are completely appropriate in context.  IF they don't come with attitude (pride, dissension, accusation, malice, anger etc).  When would this be applicable?  I have a good example.  I was asking Victoria to do a bunch of things one evening and she was trying to tell me she needed a break.  I was not being very sensitive and went on saying "well, this and this and this!"  She looked at me and very calmly said "Mommy, I had a very sh**y day."  She fought back some tears as she said it.  Now, at first I was tempted to get on her for her use of language.  The only reason though was because of my legalistic pride.  She was using it without attitude (and trust me, I can tell), as a descriptive adjective that her day was congruent with poop i.e. VERY BAD, and quite honestly, the communication adjective was effective as I suddenly knew she was not doing well.  Yes, I really believe that is a perfectly fine place for my child to use language. In fact, I was glad she felt she could use it to me.   Mind you, those times are RARE!  Be warned, my children! :)  There are times that women are behaving in such a way that referring to them as a "B**ch" is completely descriptive.  If I need to see a teeth-bared snarling dog in my mind, so be it!  I say again, these times are RARE.....please remember that, because these words are most commonly used with sinful motives.
• It is only for use in our home- I don't let them use these words (frankly, the instance above is really the only time they have used them as yet) in public.  Really I speak in future tense, I won't let them because we have not even faced this much yet. The reason is the same for why we are careful of what music we play, and movies we watch when company is over.  The goal is not to offend.  This is not about putting on a face of perfect Christian behavior in front of people either, we DON'T want to teach that at all!  It is about thinking of others.  
• F*boms NEVER acceptable- For one good reason, it's making sick what God created beautiful.  I don't like to hear it, I don't use it in conversation.  S*x is over-spoken, under-valued, and under-respected in our culture enough as is.  I mean, let's go back to our common sense reasons to use or not to use.  If we agree that some words are correct in context, when is this acceptable?  If it is, I don't want to hear about it!  Know what I'm saying here? Yeah, keep that to yourself where it belongs okay ??? :)   I dare anyone to say "I copulated with..." instead of the F*bomb every time... now that would be a shocking conversation to hear!  It's a simple case of throwing language around wrong.  IT's purpose is SHOCK VALUE, pure and simple.  To make an emotional impression once again on the hearer, that usually lacks substance in reality.   It would be just as stupid as saying "refrigerator!" in between conversation of heightened description or anger.  You really are looking just as idiotic in my mind.  If you can't say what you are saying well, you are doing it no better with a word out of context.  You may as well grunt angrily and loud (or add a splash of beating your breasts) in between and show yourself for the true animal you are. SO, yes, biblically I think this is the one word that is always "dirty"  but truly, outside of my conviction and into just common sense, it is a hollow expressive grunt. 

This is not a case of holy-er-than-thou however.  We will fail in our cursing to each other whether we use a four letter word or not.  I'm just saying, we should be more concerned with the heart attitude flowing out of our mouths than merely the word choices.  Culture conditions us, and though I agree we don't want to be desensitized to the language, we should be more concerned about being desensitized to our own selfishness and sin.  We should not boast to the world that we are so much better because we don't use language.  We should not dare to think that makes us better.  Cursing can come in different alphabetical packages.  I do think because, like the verse says, we are now children of the light we should be very careful in our usage of any language.  People should see a difference in our lack of sinful speech in any form. The four letter formula is not enough, and the soap in the mouth hides the stench of the heart.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.....

Little Valedictorian

She May go to a small school, but she is ending the year on top.  We can take no bragging rights for this.  One, because God has gifted her with a great memory and study ethic. Secondly, she did this all on her own.  I've never seen anything like it.  In all the years at public school, (she was homeschooled till 5th grade), we have never once had to hound her about her homework.  She is so good at being self-motivated that I hardly know when there is a test or a deadline at all.  I have not had to!  She navigates it all with great maturity and independence.  Sometimes I ask her just cause I feel left out!  She has been a leader in the classroom and her teacher tells me she has a gift for leading and instructing others. 

Next week she graduates 8th grade and will have to give a speech in front of the whole school.  She is so nervous about that, and I'm worried I'll blubber all over the gym floor! 

I realize that HS is a HUGE pond and it may get a little tough, but I'm excited to see what this girl can do!  I thank God for giving her her these gifts and I pray she will always bless Him and others with them.  

We saw this newborn dress at Target  (it looked a lot smaller in person).  It made me realize how much she has grown because she had a newborn dress when she was born and she was swimming in it!  Way to go big girl, keep it up.  We love you!

Caedmon's 9th Birthday

We usually kidnap the kids from school on their birthdays. True to his way of doing things, Caedmon didn't want to be kidnapped, but ditch altogether.
He had quite the day!

1) Get a haircut
2) Go to Nana's to find a surprise hiding. A 3-D movie ticket and a Cold Stone gift card!
3) Have pizza with Daddy! Lots of pizza. (I was amazed how much those boys packed away)

4) See the Avengers in 3-D dbox! (too long for him though. The last hour the action finally got going and he leaned over to me and said "now it's getting interesting!" :)

5) Get the biggest ice cream EVER!

6) Sing and blow out candles!

7) Have Nana come for dinner and open presents! A wonderful dragon book from Grandma and Grandpa O., and a much too cool Lego set from them too!

Happy Birthday to my baby who grew a little too fast!!!