Breaking Size Barriers In Fashion

I'm wanting to do more fashion posts in the new year.  I've had lot's of comments lately on my outfits.  I don't consider myself a diva or anything but I've started to love this new hobby.  It is really just artistic expression. I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes and accessories though and I know a lot of people don't these days so I want to share what I pull off on a very frugal budget.  Years of little kids and just avoiding a run to the store with burp up on me are over now and I'm actually realizing I'm more of a girlie girl than I thought.
I want to share tips like this one I'll share today:

Don't get stuck in your size!!!

When shopping don't always go for your size category   Let the clothes speak to you.  Now, of course some things don't go over your hips and that is that.  Still, other possibilities are out there!  Especially if you are bargain shopping at places like Ross or clearance shopping and especially thrift shopping. I was recently at a thrift store and snagged one sweater I was thinking I'd give to my teen daughter because it was a small small but I was sad because it was an awesome Guess sweater.  I paid $3 for it.  I got home and thought, well, I try it on.  She has a ton of clothes and a new fur lined nice sweatshirt she is attached to.  So, I put it on and it was snug in the arms but it looked great!  Many times sweaters can be used as coverings that remain open and therefore you can wear a size or two smaller and you will get an even better fitted look on the top.  If the buttons do go over your bust, don't freak out!  If it's a style and color you love and it's a frugal find, use it open with things.

This is another great example.  I apologize for the bad picture.  I had no one to take a full picture of me.  This top spoke to me.  It said "I am awesome, I'm so pretty!  I'm only 16 bucks and on you, I'm a dress!"  See, it's a size 2X.  It is from Forever 21 Plus and I found it at Ross.  It is not my size.  However, the top has small shoulders and an elastic neckline that can stretch for some larger lovely lady or scrunch up for me or frankly even someone smaller.  Which hopefully will be me too at some point! lol  I do try to think ahead to fluxing sizes as we women experience this wonderful phenomena.  The arms are mid length and made with a widening flap that just looks flow-y on me.  It is made to scrunch at the waist with lots of room in the tummy for a larger gal.  For me it made a tube dress.  I paired it with capri brown leggings from Forever 21 for five bucks and my all time favorite winter boots that I wear almost every day in the fall and winter.  I found those at the goodwill.

Cheap accessories (or some nice special ones on occasion) are the other have to.  I have a simple long necklace from Forever 21 that cost $4 and a ring I found there on clearance recently for $3.  A long necklace and a big middle finger ring can really add a punch to your outfit.  I love it anyway.

Of course a nice gold holiday polish doesn't hurt either.  :)

So, come back in the new year if you want to get some frugal ideas.  We all have our own style for sure but I do think some of the tips I've learned can be carried over to what speaks to you.  

My Fashion "Cheat"

I thought I'd share one of my little secrets. I don't like a bunch of pant leg down in my boots (unless I have skinny type jeans on which I don't really have right now) so I cheat and use my capris.  Otherwise, on cooler days the capris don't get used as much.

With the new trend of sweater socks, these could look even cuter. So, yes, now you know, I don't look quite so hip underneath there lol.

Blowing Up A Weight Loss Myth

I've always held to the idea that you should NEVER buy bigger clothes when you want to loose weight.  I've held to that idea for years.  The thought is that if you are uncomfortable, you will not eat as much and you will get more serious about weight loss.  I recently was forced into a situation that led me to find this not true, and had some other revelations about myself along the way.

As I've said lately on my Sensa Weightloss posts, I'm the heaviest I've been outside of pregnancies.  So I was really feeling awful the last few months in my clothes, especially jeans and pants.  I was forced to do what I dreaded doing and buy that darn next size up.  What I discovered amazed me and blew a huge myth out of the water for me....

I felt fabulous!!!

I did not expect this.  I've not really let myself do it before.  Suddenly, I felt like I looked right in my clothes.  Now days I see women everywhere cramming themselves into clothing that causes all manner of unsightly bulges everywhere.  I have a pet peeve for bulges, I avoid them at all costs.  So what I would do is wear my soft pants or yoga pants until I felt better.  This time I worked out and worked on it and was not feeling better.  In fact, what I was wearing was depressing me more and making me feel defeated.  When you feel defeated you have a major disadvantage....

you don't want to move at all, not to mention get out and get going!

Now, mind you, there is always the problem that you will just forget all together about your goal for change but I noticed that when I felt better, I was MORE motivated.  I felt like I'd made immediate progress (of course I'd not but it was mentally just as rewarding to feel good in what I wore).  It finally occurred to me that this was true when I was watching a Fly Lady video yesterday about getting up and getting dressed head to toe when you start your day because feeling good motivates you.  That is exactly what this was.  I felt I could get out, go do, accomplish instead of feeling painful and uncomfortable and way frumpy in my outfit. My clothes not feeling good made me want to hide and it made me feel so discouraged.

Thankfully, I found a few good deals on Gap and Levi jeans at the Goodwill as well as a few tops that I love.      Otherwise, yes this could be very expensive so I would not recommend putting much money into it, after all, the goal is to be out of those clothes soon.  On that note though, it made me think that I was going to change something else about my attitude regarding my weight.  I was going to.....

be okay with my weight wherever it was.  

That is not so say I was not going to set goals to loose, but while I was wherever I was, I wanted to be continually content with it.  It sounds like I'm contradicting myself but I'm not.  It's the same concept as being content with your finances yet still saving up more.  Being okay where you are for the time you are there while you work to make it to another place.  I'd never thought of this before and my clothes were a huge conduit to how content I was with my body.  One practical way I'm going to do this is to stop getting rid of my "big" clothes.  I've done this before, tossed them out!  Somehow I thought doing that would make me never go back where I was.  You know what though, life and my waistline are always changing!!!  I need to be okay with it and always work to make it better all at once.  So, I'm going to keep a tote of "big" clothes just as I have the one I have called "too small" in my storage.  Honestly, this concept is very freeing to me.  I'm not sure what all the psychology is behind it but it's been a powerful revelation.

For the fact is, and this also I've noticed lately, women of all sizes can be stunning.  They may not be meat market sexy in temporal terms, but why should that by my goal anyway?  The meat market is an unhappy endless discontent.  Even the gorgeous ones don't feel like they are, we all know that.  It's really a focus of getting male attention at that point.  That should never be my goal.  I want to do the best with what I have always, and get the attention of one man.  Do you know what wonderful thing he said to me too????  When I was telling him these revelations I've had and told him the crazy number the scale has me at right now he said "You really wear it well".

What a man.  I knew we both needed to be honest that we noticed my situation, we agree that I need to make goals to change it, but he was truly content with me as I was.  I've never let myself be that, for myself.

So, I highly recommend going on a chubby shopping spree and getting stuff that makes you want to live your life!  Set goals and work for them, and love it all along the way.  I don't want to always miss my life shooting for something that will come and go.  My life does not have to come and go with it. My drawer and my storage should be ready to make me feel good at any size.

Perhaps some people all ready get these things....I'm probably just dense.  I'm happy to have realized it, and I just hope this encourages someone else feeling the same way.  I guess we live in a culture that makes it hard to see the more true obvious things.

Mama Fashion: AKA How To Dress Up A Chubby

A fun thing happens when your have girls and they start to grow up, you catch up on fashion a bit lol.  I am a strange shopper though.  I rarely buy anything off the rack.
For years I was a Goodwill shopper.  That became lame for the most part when prices went up and I could do better at Target clearance and Kohls clearance.  I also went through some pretty strange thrift store fashion statements.  I think my worst one was when I thought it was more holy of me to wear long skirts all the time.  Rick asked me to wear pants so that was that.  I love that man!
I also grew up as a tom boy so looking pretty was not on my mind till my late teens.  I was not allowed to wear nail polish till I was 16 and my grandma snuck me to get my ears pierced when I was in college.  So, yeah, I didn't bother much till then.  My late teen fashion spurt was short lived  as I had my honeymoon baby nine months after getting married... I was 20.  Back then fashionable maternity or nursing wear did not exist. Then, I went through years of feeling frumpy, and not really sure what I liked.  Mostly, I had three young kids and didn't have time to think about it.  It was going to get spit up or pooped on so why did it matter?
Now, I'm not claiming to be a fashion diva here, I'm just saying I'm having more fun with it.

See I've put a few lbs on since taking a desk job (insert sad face for me please, thank you).  I'm sure being 35 does not help that.  It's not like I'm a couch potato either, I work out a few times a week and we walk as a family when the evenings get longer.

My first reaction was sheer frustration.  That only makes it worse though.  I don't want to be perfect, I want to look good for my husband, and I want to feel good in my own skin.  That is all I need.  So here are a few things I've found that help my chubby self:

• Low cut pants- I use to think these were the curse of this generation on mom's.  I kept hearing that these make you look thin but for me they just would not allow me to bend over.  Sure they were elongating and did not cut into my tummy when I sat down but I'm not into vulgar when I sit either! The solution was found in my next fashion must have....
• Tanks-  I rarely wear them solo, though I probably should.  I consider them a layer piece.  I get them when they are cheap and keep a bunch of colors.  Now days they help you get to wear the unwearable.  So many tops are immodestly low.  Start to look at tops with new possiblities when you know you have your tanks in your back pocket! Get the long ones you can tuck in your low jeans, throw a shirt over that and you have solved your low jean problem!   (Oh, and keep an eye for Target coupon deals on the sites, this shirt here was only $3 after I waited for a sale and used a coupon!)    It's so comfortable too.  I use some "Fat Free Dressing" tanks when I find them on clearance or at Ross.  They are SOOO helpful!
• Long Necklaces-  A few that are casual, a few dressy, always grab cheap.  Your best bet is Kohls clearance and Forever 21.  Victoria and I LOVE a trip to F21 for some cheap accessories!  Long necklaces elongate your figure and when you are chubby, that is a good thing. Get ones that are very transferable, and not too many in specific color requirements. I sometimes wear more than one, like here.  This is actually a REALLY long one wrapped twice adn my favorite bird cage necklace I probably wear too much (I adore bird cages!)   Last year was the year of the earring for me. Clearance sales at Kohls helped feed that with awesome selections for a buck or two. This year is the year of the necklace it would seem (are we not all thinking Guy De Maupassant now!?)

This picture makes me look way more trim than I am.  I'm flattered it turned out so well, I should figure out how I twisted my hips there and do that more often! lol

• Loose the Tennies- unless I need them for comfort, I don't wear tennis shoes with jeans anymore.  UNLESS they are converse.  I don't do those often either.  To finish the casual dressy look I use sandles, thongs or one inch comfy heals. I know some mom's do comfy Mary Jane's too.  A little bit of foot fancy can make you feel much better!  

Many of us are in that stage of life where we are not ready to look like our grandma, but we sure can't do the skinny jeans our teen girls are in either.  Putting some effort into getting cute and comfortable helps us just be happier mom's.  Should we still have a gracious attitude in sweats and burp up?  Sure, but come one now, you have to admit.....it's harder!  

USE THE MAGIC YOU HAVE PEOPLE.....;)