2013 Resolve

Resolution really is not the best word. It is interesting though when you realize that part of this process is fixing something. Resolving something. Finding a resolution usually indicates there was a problem. So, in many ways it' much like the put off, and put on process that is highly effective in life I think. So, I ask myself what is the issue or the problem if you will, with resolutions? It's that we know we don't change easily. Then, we fear the self loathing of defeat and therefore, don't resolve anymore. Or at least, don't speak them for fear of ourselves. Am I really that afraid of failure!!? Failure is a guaranteed part of life. Not everything I set out to do will succeed. If God intends for it to, it will, but if it's not time yet, or it's not what's for me, then it won't. I think I need to be more okay with that. Not that I seek to fail of course. The other big problem with New Year resolutions in particular is that it's too much. One cannot muster up enough resolve in one moment, on one day, to do that very thing the next moment let alone for 365 days! So, like the pathetic person who tries to wish for three more wishes when given one, I'm approaching my resolutions with some initial ones based in these realities.So here they are. I resolved mentally first to not have too many and to not read anyone else's till I made my own.

1. I resolve to resolve frequently.  To resolve (analyze, refocus, goal set...) monthly, weekly, and daily when possible.
2. I resolve to not be down on myself when I fail in my resolutions or other failures, but to trust God for grace and be more patient with myself.
3. I resolve to water a seed I sense in my heart to focus on the ONE relationship that defines me.  My relationship with God is the only one that will be all I need in this life and will carry over into the next. You know that very sad scene in scripture when God says there will people on the day of judgement who will call Him "Lord, Lord" and he will say "I do not know you".  I want the opposite of that.  I want on that day to look into the eyes of Jesus and have him say "hey, it's you! I know you!" With that I hope to have my eyes open and my heart expectant to this focus affecting the relationships around me and my own approach and response to life.
4. I resolve to respond in prayer when I feel burdened by what others think or assume about me.  When that is a burden to me, I resolve to give it to God and move forward. 
5. I resolve to be creative.  To use what I have more and make the best of my resources.  To also take the time for my artistic side and feed that.
6. I resolve to focus on health for myself and my family.  To be a good example, teacher, and provider of all things healthy.  Healthy food, healthy time together, healthy outdoor exercise.  I resolve in this to take the time to plan ahead for these needs of my own and my family.  
7. I resolve to read poetry again.
8. I resolve to end my day with a book and a lamp rather than an electronic device.  I therefore resolve to put my phone down, and shut my computer off at least a half hour before going to sleep.  I resolve to have my children do the same and not be worn down by the whining I hear about it.  
9. I resolve to pray for others.  God is pretty specific when He puts people on my heart.  I've noticed this in my life.  I don't know if it's a spiritual gift to have this burden for a few people at a time but I do.  It's like a weight on me and very strong.  I need to make sure to pray for them.  
10. I resolve to be focused in finances and the goals we are setting to get out of debt.  I'm not great at this.  It's very much like my struggle to loose weight.  I know it's going to take daily focus. 
11. I resolve to be a better listener and not assume I know what people are thinking or motivated by.  I guess that really is a resolution to more humility in my life.  

So out of the millions of ways I can kick my self...these are just the top ones.  Perhaps the ones I feel for now, trickle down into all other serious areas in my life.  That is really what resolving is right, figuring out where the important things start.  

Happy New Year to you all!