Curses Don't Just Come In Four Letters

I heard in a sermon once that if a Christian uses four letter words, they are not saved.  I disagree.  I think we really put too much stock in our cultural emotional reaction to words.  On the other hand, I also think some believers are way too relaxed in this area as well.

I enjoyed what Randy Alcorn had to say on it today from a link on his Facebook, and there were a lot of great verses he had there.  It was funny to me though, as I read through what he was getting ready to refer to, another man's post on profanity, and I was starting to feel all bad for some things I've liked that have language in them.  OH, or worse, when I actually find the language fits and is funny!!! (Oh, SOO unholy of me!)   THEN the guy says he was referring to the movie "The Hangover" and how friends had said how great it was, blah, blah, blah...
WELL!
If we are using that movie as a baseline...um yeah, I feel better.  I hated the movie.  I laughed rarely and found it a huge waste of my time and sense of humor.  I agree with Randy though, you cannot take people's word on movies for the most part.  At least not if you are going to sit down with your kids and let them watch it with you for the first view.  I also wondered to myself why the title of the movie was not a clue in and of itself to this guy as he says he was researching whether it was a good family movie...um...ha,ha..hello!?  HANGOVER might be a clue!
 I had a friend over to bring her son to Caedmon's birthday party the other day and I asked if he was allowed to watch the original "Men In Black".  My kids love those movies.  She said she did not think so because the movie had some language.  I responded that for us, it was a common conversation issue since they hear it at school anyway (her kids are home schooled, and heavens, I say that only for context people).  She kind of gave me a funny look, not a bad one, just a funny one.  First of all, I want to say that our policy, and our teaching to our kids, is that we respect other people's convictions for their children and we don't play or watch music or movies that they are uncomfortable with.  No matter what we think of their decisions.  We don't seek to offend people, and THAT really is my guide line on this issue.  Still, the reason I said that to her was because I don't believe keeping their virgin ears is as important as discussing the heart of the matter.

In our home, we don't want to curse eachother.  There are many ways to curse eachother.  The bible tells us not to speak curses against one another.  So, it's not really the word choices but the heart attitude.  My child can say all manner of accepted language and be cursing me or his or her sibling, or their teacher at school etc.  So here are my main points:

• It's not the word, it's the sinful heart-  We are too easily shocked by some words and not by others.  We need to NOT SPEAK CURSES, in any form.  We should be more shocked by heart attitudes than we are.
• Profane language oozes pride and malice-  In my mind, no language should be wasted.  So many times, I have heard people using language every other word that means NOTHING.  It's goal is to give the one hearing a sense of greatness, or intimidation from the one speaking.  What you are basically saying is a lot of exaggerated adjectives about your self or what is happening to you.  Basically, over usage of profane language is just a DRAMA QUEEN under cover.   
• It has it's place-  WHAT?   Did I really say that????  Yes, I did.  There are times when I truly believe that certain culturally unacceptable words are completely appropriate in context.  IF they don't come with attitude (pride, dissension, accusation, malice, anger etc).  When would this be applicable?  I have a good example.  I was asking Victoria to do a bunch of things one evening and she was trying to tell me she needed a break.  I was not being very sensitive and went on saying "well, this and this and this!"  She looked at me and very calmly said "Mommy, I had a very sh**y day."  She fought back some tears as she said it.  Now, at first I was tempted to get on her for her use of language.  The only reason though was because of my legalistic pride.  She was using it without attitude (and trust me, I can tell), as a descriptive adjective that her day was congruent with poop i.e. VERY BAD, and quite honestly, the communication adjective was effective as I suddenly knew she was not doing well.  Yes, I really believe that is a perfectly fine place for my child to use language. In fact, I was glad she felt she could use it to me.   Mind you, those times are RARE!  Be warned, my children! :)  There are times that women are behaving in such a way that referring to them as a "B**ch" is completely descriptive.  If I need to see a teeth-bared snarling dog in my mind, so be it!  I say again, these times are RARE.....please remember that, because these words are most commonly used with sinful motives.
• It is only for use in our home- I don't let them use these words (frankly, the instance above is really the only time they have used them as yet) in public.  Really I speak in future tense, I won't let them because we have not even faced this much yet. The reason is the same for why we are careful of what music we play, and movies we watch when company is over.  The goal is not to offend.  This is not about putting on a face of perfect Christian behavior in front of people either, we DON'T want to teach that at all!  It is about thinking of others.  
• F*boms NEVER acceptable- For one good reason, it's making sick what God created beautiful.  I don't like to hear it, I don't use it in conversation.  S*x is over-spoken, under-valued, and under-respected in our culture enough as is.  I mean, let's go back to our common sense reasons to use or not to use.  If we agree that some words are correct in context, when is this acceptable?  If it is, I don't want to hear about it!  Know what I'm saying here? Yeah, keep that to yourself where it belongs okay ??? :)   I dare anyone to say "I copulated with..." instead of the F*bomb every time... now that would be a shocking conversation to hear!  It's a simple case of throwing language around wrong.  IT's purpose is SHOCK VALUE, pure and simple.  To make an emotional impression once again on the hearer, that usually lacks substance in reality.   It would be just as stupid as saying "refrigerator!" in between conversation of heightened description or anger.  You really are looking just as idiotic in my mind.  If you can't say what you are saying well, you are doing it no better with a word out of context.  You may as well grunt angrily and loud (or add a splash of beating your breasts) in between and show yourself for the true animal you are. SO, yes, biblically I think this is the one word that is always "dirty"  but truly, outside of my conviction and into just common sense, it is a hollow expressive grunt. 

This is not a case of holy-er-than-thou however.  We will fail in our cursing to each other whether we use a four letter word or not.  I'm just saying, we should be more concerned with the heart attitude flowing out of our mouths than merely the word choices.  Culture conditions us, and though I agree we don't want to be desensitized to the language, we should be more concerned about being desensitized to our own selfishness and sin.  We should not boast to the world that we are so much better because we don't use language.  We should not dare to think that makes us better.  Cursing can come in different alphabetical packages.  I do think because, like the verse says, we are now children of the light we should be very careful in our usage of any language.  People should see a difference in our lack of sinful speech in any form. The four letter formula is not enough, and the soap in the mouth hides the stench of the heart.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.....